What I Saw This Weekend—and Why It Matters to Players and Parents

I was at a local volleyball tournament this weekend, and something caught me by surprise—and not in a good way.

It wasn't the level of play. It wasn't the competition. It was the sportsmanship.

I get it. This game is emotional. It's fast, intense, and players can get caught up in the moment. But what stood out—and what shouldn't be ignored—was the negative behavior. Players taunting the team across the net. Body language directed at opponents. Reactions meant to tear down instead of compete.

That's not the game.

And more importantly, that's not what this sport is meant to teach.

Volleyball is one of the most powerful platforms we have for young athletes. It teaches discipline, accountability, teamwork, and how to respond under pressure. It prepares players for real-world situations—how to handle adversity, how to lead, and how to be part of something bigger than themselves.

We're lucky to have a sport that does all of that.

So when we allow negative behavior to take over, we're not just missing the moment—we're taking away from what the game is supposed to give.

Coaches. Parents. This matters.

When we let things like this go, we're lowering the standard. And when the standard drops, we're not setting these athletes up for success—we're setting them up for struggles later on. Because at some point, it catches up.

Here's the reality: the moment you step out of your car and walk into that gym, you're on the clock.

You are being evaluated.

Not just by how hard you swing or how well you pass—but by how you carry yourself. How you respond after an error. How you treat your teammates. How you handle a tough call. How you react when things aren't going your way.

If I noticed it as a bystander, imagine what a college coach sees.

Because they are watching everything.

And here's what players need to understand—this goes far beyond talent.

You can have all the skill in the world, but if your body language is negative, if your reactions are toxic, if you bring down the energy of your team, it will show. And it will matter.

College coaches aren't just recruiting athletes—they're building teams. They're looking for players who make others better, who stay composed in tough moments, and who represent their program the right way.

If you can't do that, talent alone won't carry you.

Body language tells the story before anything else does. You don't have to say a word. The eye rolls, the frustration, the disengagement—it all shows. And it all adds up.

But so does the opposite.

The reset after a mistake. The encouragement to a teammate. The ability to stay locked in when the match gets tight. The discipline to compete hard without crossing the line.

That's what separates players.

That's what stands out.

And when it's not corrected, when negative behavior becomes accepted, it turns into a habit. It becomes part of the culture. And that's where the real damage happens—not just in one match, but over time.

Because habits carry.

Another piece that can't be overlooked is what happens between the points. The huddles. The eye contact. The quick conversations after a mistake. These moments don't show up on a stat sheet, but they define how a team functions.

Are you pulling teammates in, or are you separating yourself? Are you communicating solutions, or showing frustration? The teams that stand out—and the players coaches remember—are the ones who stay connected. They reset together. They move on together. They compete together.

You can feel it from the sideline when a team is locked in. There's energy, there's trust, and there's accountability. And on the flip side, you can feel when it's off—when body language starts to break that connection and players begin to play individually instead of as a unit.

That difference matters.

Because volleyball isn't a sport you can play alone. And how you show up for your team in those small moments often says more than anything that happens during the rally.

This isn't about being perfect. Players are going to get frustrated. They're going to make mistakes. That's part of competing.

But how you respond—that's everything.

Be the teammate that lifts others. Be the player that resets quickly. Be the one that competes with intensity but still respects the game. Be someone your team can rely on—not just when things are going well, but when they're not.

Because in the end, people remember more than just your stats.

They remember how you played the game.

John Cook has long emphasized that the lessons learned through the game carry far beyond it. In the end, it's not just about how you play—it's about who you are when you play.~Theresa@prepdigdakotas

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